r/news May 26 '23

911 call from Lauren Boeberts home involving incident between husband and son

https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/lauren-boebert-jayson-911-call-alleged-assault-son-garfield-county-colorado-congresswoman/
43.3k Upvotes

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u/DoctorBaconite May 26 '23

It's always the ones you most suspect

1.3k

u/retiredhobo May 27 '23

it’s always the loud ones

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u/ramblingnonsense May 27 '23

"While you're watching a quiet one, a noisy one will fucking kill you." - George Carlin

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u/Jdogy2002 May 27 '23

I love his setup for this joke in the special it was on, I still crack up when I listen to it! I’m paraphrasing here…. “They always say ‘It’s the quiet ones ya gotta watch’ Lets say you’re in a bar and there’s a guy sitting there quiet, reading the newspaper, not bothering anyone… and then some guy walks in and says ‘I’m gonna kill every motherfucker in this room!’ ….which one are you gonna watch?” Same with a joke from his airport bit… “We will now begin the pre-boarding process. What is the pre-boarding process? I get on the plane before I get on the plane? And there’s another phrase I’ve never understood, ‘Getting on the plane.’ Fuck getting ON the plane, I want to get IN the plane, let EVEL KENIEVEL get ON the plane!” Damn I miss Carlin so much! BTW if you haven’t wanted that special and you’re a standup fan, do yourself a favor. It’s top 5 for me up there with Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, and Dave Chapelles first sets. An absolute powerhouse of observational comedy!

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u/ramblingnonsense May 27 '23

I was fortunate enough to see Carlin live. Because, as he put it, "you know I'll tour anywhere with a zip code."

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u/Galrash May 27 '23

Yes but also no. I was physically abused as a kid for years and my dad was an extremely social and well liked person, progressive, and (I'm not kidding) has a career in helping troubled teens. He's a great all around guy EXCEPT for a temper that got me knocked around in private and a secret side family.

Haven't talked to him in 12 years

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u/Actual-Ad1149 May 27 '23

A lot of abusers learn how to hide what they do and how to gaslight others.

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u/Prochnost_Present May 27 '23

Yep. My dad was always the "cool dad" but behind closed doors never missed let go an opportunity to hit me for nothing.

Just the other day, some recruiter got my mother's number for some reason trying to reach me and said she was "such a sweetheart." I didn't correct this stranger because it didn't matter, but I haven't talked to that woman in a year and a half

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u/zuzg May 26 '23

Boebert's son made two calls - one at 6:46 p.m. and another at 6:53 p.m. - to Garfield County dispatch to detail the assault. In the second call, the teenager tried to walk back the accusations before the Colorado Congresswoman, who had been heard yelling in the background, takes the phone to say her son "doesn't need help."

Party of family values.

4.6k

u/Hasby_pro May 27 '23

Interfering with a 911 call is a crime.

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u/dementorpoop May 27 '23

Yeah but only if you’re poor

1.2k

u/AidanGe May 27 '23

And lacking a blue stripe sticker on your truck

494

u/Certain-Resident450 May 27 '23

And a punisher skull

434

u/cfv9000 May 27 '23

American flag punisher skull. Even though Frank Castle would kill all the people who think he's repping them.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23

That’s the best/worst part.

Go ahead and put your punisher skull up like Frank Castle wouldn’t be 1000% against your ideals.

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u/ramonzer0 May 27 '23

I'm pretty sure that you can have someone who'd have near encyclopedic knowledge of Marvel comics point out in exact order every instance of Frank literally doing or saying the opposite of what these folks peddle and they'd ignore it out of spite

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u/NeonMoonCobra917 May 27 '23

It's all because of that American Sniper guy, Kyle Liesalot. He used that skull, the movie came out, then it spread everywhere.

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u/KeyserSozeInElysium May 27 '23

Dude, I had no idea Chris Kyle was such a piece of shit.

The movie was heavy and well written and made him out to be a hero. Here's an article detailing his lies, and apparently it's just the tip of the iceberg. Screw that guy

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u/BirtSampson May 27 '23

It’s too bad she didn’t do this 24 months ago when she somehow had 40 million less dollars

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u/lockon345 May 27 '23

Yea, but Fetterman wore shorts, so y'know, magically cancels out this whole covering up domestic violence thing.

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u/Probably_Not_Evil May 27 '23

Only if the District Attorney decides it's a crime.

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u/sl0play May 27 '23

Hey, in fairness they got the family part down. She's 36 and a grandmother.

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u/SophiaofPrussia May 27 '23

LARPing the medieval era she dreams of dragging the rest of us back to.

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u/CartographerCivil989 May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

The hypocrisy and sanctimony of it all just kills me, with the GOP as a whole and Boebert in particular. Their 'family values' seems an awful lot like 'this is what happens when we don't reach (edit: teach) sex ed and crush women's reproductive rights'.

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u/Sasquatchjc45 May 27 '23

Last month, Boebert, a Republican who represents the state's 3rd Congressional District, filed a petition for divorce from her husband.

Not to mention a good traditional woman and Christian nationalist.

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u/Randomstupidasshole May 27 '23

Might makes right has always been their core value.

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u/Criticalma55 May 27 '23

Tyranny of the parents’ sociopathic whims over their children is what their “family values” actually are.

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u/rowanhenry May 26 '23 edited May 27 '23

The audio has been released. She takes the phone off her son when he's on the phone to police to try and cover up what happened. Covers for her husband when her son needs help.

I hope that kid gets the help he needs. No one should live in a house of abuse.

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u/VagrantShadow May 27 '23

They always want to seem like the brady bunch when in reality they have fucked up family lives.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23

Who would have thought having a pedo around kids is a bad idea?

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u/victorspoilz May 27 '23

If you can't make it work with a guy who exposed himself to you in a bowling alley when you were a minor, then love really is dead.

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u/aceshighsays May 27 '23

pedophile culture and purity culture are one in the same.

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u/LocalSlob May 27 '23

Wait her husband is a pedo? I'm sorry. I've literally had my head in the sand on US politics for a while now.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

[deleted]

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u/fatbottomwyfe May 27 '23

Your missing one more incident, the neighbor calling the police on the Booberts son racing a RZR through the neighborhood and the husband responding then threatens and attempts to hit the mail box of the neighbor with his truck. And dispatch acting clueless as to who they are as the neighbor explains who his neighbors are.

Edit: RZR is a sport SxS that depending on model goes up to 80mph bone stock in case people have never heard of Polaris RZRs.

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u/PleasinglyReasonable May 27 '23

That edit really cleared things up, i definitely thought we were talking razor scooters

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u/phurt77 May 27 '23

I thought they were talking about the Motorola Razr and I was confused as hell.

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u/Larie2 May 27 '23

RZR is pronounced "razor" for anyone that doesn't know what it is. I feel like most people have heard the term, but not seen it spelled before.

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u/mattacular2001 May 27 '23

Oh boy, pull up a seat

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u/Key-Cry-8570 May 27 '23

Proceeds to pull up seat and gets comfy.

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u/Truckaduckduck May 27 '23

Husband was an adult teen-predator. Found Lauren at like 14. Seduced and raped her (statutory) and she stayed with him. Very much like a student/teacher thing but even creepier and more evil.

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u/GoodQueenFluffenChop May 27 '23

Don't forget her husband would also expose himself to teen girls at bowling alleys while he was with physically there with Lauren.

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u/Squirrel_Chucks May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

Yeah he'd tell girls his dick was tattooed to get them to ask him to see it.

And don't forget that Lauren and Jayson opened a restaurant where all the waitresses had holstered pistols.

The restaurant's name? Shooters 😒

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u/ezone2kil May 27 '23

Fun fact the restaurant failed after it gave the customers food poisoning.

Also what kind of girl asks to see your dick when you tell its tattooed.

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u/tallbutshy May 27 '23

Something along the lines of, "wanna see my tattoo?" to a bunch of underage girls at a bowling alley (I think) and the tat was either on, or near, his dick. So he exposed himself to the group. Lauren Boebert was one of them

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u/Aliensinmypants May 27 '23

Exposed himself to teen Boebert and her teen friends outside a bowling alley, then she married him and dropped out highschool to have his kids. Who are apparently being abused by the pedophile now.

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u/Orthas May 27 '23

Arrested for exposing himself to children.

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u/pajo17 May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

Did the Brady bunch send Christmas letters with little Cindy holding an assault rifle?

Fix'd

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u/HardlyDecent May 27 '23

Little less Brady and a little more Manson.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23

Sounds like her son really did need help and she was trying to cover it up or minimize what might happen should the cops come out.

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u/Scoutster13 May 27 '23

Yup - that poor kid. His father is abusing him and she covers for the dad and makes her own son retract what he said to the operator. She's a fucking giant piece of shit.

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u/hamsterfolly May 27 '23

That should warrant an automatic police investigation like domestic abuse

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u/Abrahamlinkenssphere May 27 '23

It would for pretty much anyone else.

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u/VagrantShadow May 27 '23

It reminds me of the daughter of the judge that recorded her room when her dad barged in, screamed at her and beat her steadily as she screamed out for her mother, who didn't come to help. All for downloading some songs. He got off with a slap on the wrist, and it was treated like nothing happened.

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u/therealbman May 27 '23

Does no one remember Kellyanne Conway’s daughter?

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u/ClusterFoxtrot May 27 '23

How can you hear your child like that and not immediately want to gnash your teeth at the source of it? I don't even know him and my first instict was "find bad thing and disembowel"

I've been that kid, too. I'm always afraid I'm as bad a mom as my mom. Then I remember when my adult 22 year old cousin was tormenting my then 7 year old, and I had the audacity to tell him to stop...well.

Fuck these monsters who perpetuate these cycles. "It happened to me, and I don't have life long traumatic scars". Stop forcing your kids to be "the bigger person" if you're an adult who thinks you have the right to treat a child like a punching bag, you don't deserve children.

Made my blood boil when reading about Conway's daughter but hearing that kid...ugh. Every bad emotion at once.

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u/pickypawz May 27 '23

Thank you, I won’t listen to it in that case, things are already kind of tough.

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u/ClusterFoxtrot May 27 '23

It's OK to skip out on hearing or watching things that can have a detrimental impact in your headspace!

Talking about it and reaffirming it's bad and wrong I'll advocate for all day, every day. Especially if you've been raised in an environment like that. There's always people who don't know to accuse them of "faking" or wanting to "get back at" their parents. I'll revictimise myself if it means saving someone else the grief.

I know you probably didn't need me pontificating at you, but I hope things get better for you!

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u/gsfgf May 27 '23

Or Kelleyanne Conway tweeting her teenage daughter's tits

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u/besttimes_worsttimes May 27 '23

Your comment made me realize there has been so much fucked up shit that Republicans have done but it just gets buried due to the sheer amount. We honestly just can't keep up.

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u/theDarkDescent May 27 '23

Instead of keeping up with every new and different way they find to be cruel and straight up evil I just regard anyone still calling themselves a Republican to be an enemy of the people. They’re currently holding the most vulnerable people in the country as well as the ENTIRE WORLD ECONOMY hostage so that they can cut funding for the elderly and fucking food stamps.

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u/squirt619 May 27 '23

I’m sorry, wtf?

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u/Barefoot_slinger May 27 '23

Ready to glare on youtube did a video on it. There was a lot of abuse and it might still be going on

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u/meta_perspective May 27 '23

Iirc Kellyanne also gave COVID to her daughter back in 2020

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u/LawfulWood May 27 '23

Unfortunately, this is the exact situation I was in as a kid. Cops came to my house after a child reported abuse, and left when a grown woman told them everything was fine. Police are ill-equipped to handle domestic violence/abuse.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23

I had a next door neighbor girl (teenager) come knock on our door one night saying her parents were abusing her. She saw me out gardening enough to figure I was the kind of person who might help at that at least a woman lived here (me).

I knew cops weren’t the best option, but I didn’t know what else to do. The cop who came out was decent enough, and mentioned that they were familiar with the neighbors because of numerous noise complaints (I hardly ever heard anything from them).

He walked her back home to talk with her parents, and that was the last I heard of it :/

I just tried to let her know that if she ever needed help again to please reach out and we’d see what we could do.

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u/phoebeburgh May 27 '23

Please tell me you saw her again after that.

I have called the police for child abuse only once before, and it still haunts me to this day because after the call, there were no more incidents... and I never saw the kids again, either. The parents, yes. But not the kids.

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u/foreignsky May 27 '23

Many are perpetrators themselves.

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u/nbennett23 May 27 '23

or CPS report

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u/TheBlueEmerald1 May 27 '23

Considering we know this much already, I think the investigation has begun.

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u/Yo_Chill_bro May 27 '23

I would wager it will not. It will be noted as a simple mistake by law enforcement after the father has murdered the son.

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u/VagrantShadow May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

The first sounds of him, you can hear how traumatized he is. A kid isn't going to simply call and say his dad threw him around, multiple times, for nothing. And I am certain this isn't the first time this has taken place.

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u/man_gomer_lot May 27 '23

He says it happens all the time in the call.

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u/ohwrite May 27 '23

In so glad this call was made public. I don’t think they can completely cover it up. Maybe the kid has a chance

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u/16billionDeadEyes May 27 '23

The people willing to know about it will know.

The people who keep her where she is will know it's all lies and liberals trying to break up a perfect family.

This kind of polarization of a society doesn't usually lead to good things.

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u/drunk_responses May 27 '23

And I am certain this isn't the first time this has taken place.

He was arrested and convicted of physically assaulting her in 2004.

It's unclear, but she might have been pregnant with their first child at the time(born later the same year).

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u/kynthrus May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

His father who went to jail for lewd exposure to minors, a known sex offender.

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u/meco03211 May 27 '23

It's OK. He made an honest woman of the child and married her.

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u/jeffersonairmattress May 27 '23

The Jerry Lee Lewis defence.

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u/Jabbles22 May 27 '23

They will just claim that this is a private family matter. Their base will agree.

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u/ChristianEconOrg May 27 '23

Yep. I’m sure Republicans side with “father’s rights” or some other bullshit here.

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u/Criticalma55 May 27 '23

Their mentality is that a traditional nuclear family (the only valid family to them) acts as the man’s personal private fiefdom, where he is king and absolute arbiter of truth. Whatever he says, goes, and anyone who speaks against him is automatically wrong by definition.

It’s really revelatory of what Republicans think of themselves: little dictators. They are so insecure that it would be sad if the implications for those under their tyranny weren’t so dire.

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u/WillyC277 May 27 '23

Don't forget they are trying to get rid of no-fault divorce so that the woman can never leave.

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u/protoopus May 27 '23

they risked losing their firearms.

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u/eaglebtc May 27 '23

This.

In some states, there are laws on the books that will remove firearms from the home of a known domestic abuser and bar them from ever owning guns again.

They're afraid of losing access to their gun-toting friends in their gun clubs, and the NRA.

They didn't want to be made an example. They love their guns more than their own family members. That's sick.

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u/Tacitus111 May 27 '23

The thought of those guns, alone in police lockup, without anyone to stroke and polish them drove her crazy.

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u/juicius May 27 '23

Interfering with a 911 call is a crime in most jurisdictions.

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u/Kajiic May 27 '23

So is quite a few things LB has done but... well.. you know

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u/NessyComeHome May 27 '23

I know laws are dependant on jurisdiction... but isn't it a crime in her state to stop /prevent/interfere with someone calling 911?

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u/16billionDeadEyes May 27 '23

Selective enforcement. She's a white politician. Only laws over her head are federal laws, and even those are shaky.

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u/Cheatyhax May 27 '23

Was only a matter of time before what everyone knew about her would come out.

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u/EternallyImature May 27 '23

It won't matter to conservative voters. They put her in office twice and I'm sure they would do it again. Doesn't matter how despicable the candidate is.

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u/Cheatyhax May 27 '23

Oh yes. She's just this weeks conservative child abuser. At a minimum there's one.

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u/_jeremybearimy_ May 27 '23

Nope not necessarily in this case! She only won by around ~500 votes last time. With a bit more financial support (the district is HUGE geographically and money can help them spread their reach), she can DEFINITELY be beat in the next election!

Source: my dad lives there and voted for her opponent

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u/T_that_is_all May 26 '23

You have a link? Would love to hear it. I'll look it up in a few when I can if you don't come through. No worries tho.

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u/Kdean509 May 26 '23

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u/CriscoCrispy May 27 '23

OMG, my heart breaks for this kid. There is so much pain in his voice.

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u/Bokth May 27 '23

I'm torn between watching it for the fuck you rage value but also really don't want to because you can't unwatch those types of things.

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u/meowymcmeowmeow May 27 '23

If you have any history of abuse, skip it. That kid wants someone to know what he's going through but then he recants out of fear.

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u/Yankee_Man May 27 '23

Yup, I was about to open the link and said nah this is going to be very triggering

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u/CriscoCrispy May 27 '23

As much as I dislike LB, this didn’t make me feel FU rage. It made me really sad for that child.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23

It's precisely that feeling of being sad for the child, that for me, leads to rage against the person who lets it happen to protect their own image.

Fuck LB. She deserves prison for abiding this just as much as her husband does for doing it.

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u/jeffersonairmattress May 27 '23

Even accounting for embarrassment, panic and being a bit slow on the uptake, her snapping at the lad and “give me the phone” followed by condescending “ya? Well, he duzzint need any help” puts her squarely in facilitator territory. She gets all the FU rage.

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u/Sullyville May 27 '23

Whoever runs against her next should just have this on repeat on a commercial against her.

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u/Kdean509 May 27 '23

Same! I hope he’s able to get some real help, and not repeat a horrible cycle. Poor kid.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23

in the town of Rifle

We live in The Onion..

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u/Crunchy_Leaves_Slap May 27 '23

This clip was insightful. Thanks.

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u/KimonoDragon814 May 27 '23

Sounds like she's obstructing justice and aiding and abetting a crime in progress

Lock her up, lock her up

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u/MadDaddyDrivesaUFO May 27 '23

You mean the parents that decked out their children in guns for a photo to make into a Christmas card are abusive? I'm just shocked!

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u/retiredhobo May 27 '23

the next time that kid’s getting abused, he might pick up something other than a telephone…

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u/hailthenecrowizard May 27 '23

Well. That would be his second amendment right. Right?

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

[deleted]

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u/GeddyVedder May 27 '23

I did like the fact that while her district is in Denver Broncos country, one of her kids was wearing Raiders gear.

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u/GhostwriterGHOST May 26 '23

The woman who had a third child because “having a baby is cheaper than birth control” is a shitty mom? Didn’t see that one coming.

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u/Just_for_this_moment May 27 '23

When I was a youth there was a rude song we would sing for a laugh, set to the tune of Spice Girls - Wannabe. It went:

"If you wanna be my lover, give me 50p. Condoms are expensive, pregnancy is freeeee!"

Even as an eight-year-old, I knew that was nonsense.

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u/-SaC May 27 '23

Ooh, our (well, the girls') Wannabe playground one was:

If you wanna be my lover, best test out my friends

Emily is easy, Katie takes both ends

 

Of course we had the NAFF CO.54 one also, to bring it back to condoms:

Nanny Annie's fishy fanny, condoms only 54p

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u/BloodthirstyBetch May 27 '23

How on earth did you double dutch to that?

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u/seeingeyefish May 27 '23

How on earth did you double dutch to that?

According to their song, double dutch would only cost you £1. Doesn't sound too difficult.

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u/lostharbor May 27 '23

I laughed and then got really sad for the son. Ugh…

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u/Meb2x May 27 '23

Her poor son. His Mom is a laughingstock and known as one of the most hateful people in America. His Dad is physically abusive and a known pervert. His parents are going through a public divorce. And he’s gonna be a Dad at 16 because his parents are “Pro-Lifers” who may have forced his girlfriend to keep the baby for political purposes.

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u/GiggityDPT May 27 '23

Ruining their kid's life before he's even 18 to own the libs.

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u/jadrad May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

Think about how terrifying a domestic abuse situation would be for a child who knows their parents are mentally unstable lunatics who keep a shitload of guns around the house.

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u/SeaworthyWide May 27 '23

Let's not gloss over the fact that what makes this even crazier is they have considerable power across the country.

Lots of people unfortunately are in the situation where their unstable parents are abusive and own guns.

The kid is probably scared shitless to say or do anything lest he anger the base or step out of line with mom and dad and be harassed systemically due to their political influence.

Can you imagine?

Mom disowns you and the next thing you know some crazy from Indiana or Idaho or Florida is trying to attack you in public or something.

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u/Actual-Ad1149 May 27 '23

Which is why I think we may need to start thinking about giving more rights to minors to change their situation beyond emancipation.

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u/XelaNiba May 27 '23

They've been doing their best to ruin everyone else's kids lives too. Thpusands of poor girls are being forced by Boebert et al to become parents for political purposes.

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u/deadbabysaurus May 27 '23

Bobo is bringing the trailer park to DC

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u/passintimendgas May 27 '23

The Capitol Hillbillies

Banjo music intensifies

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u/mossgathering May 27 '23

Come and listen to my story 'bout a gal named Bo

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u/FlatPineappleSociety May 27 '23

Her husband is a pedophile, and she's a stupid hoe

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u/Zagden May 27 '23

A lot of people live in trailer parks because they're, y'know, poor, not because they're bigots

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u/-Gramsci- May 27 '23

That about sums it up. So is the son that called 911 the one that impregnated the 14 year old?

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u/AgnesTheAtheist May 27 '23

Lauren Boebert married her abuser. It’s not surprising he’s now abusing the kids.

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u/jrsinhbca May 26 '23

Does anyone else remember the hoopla over family values?

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u/NickDanger3di May 27 '23

Your family must have values, not their family....

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u/Iwanttowrshipbreasts May 26 '23 edited May 27 '23

Family values basically means men can only marry women, women are subservient, and children are beatable and have to dress according to their biological sex organs/play with the correctly gendered toys

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u/StarGaurdianBard May 27 '23

Don't forget it often means the girls of the family are seen as objects to be used by male family members and kept secret under years of buried trauma.

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u/PoppinKREAM May 26 '23

Family values = Gilead.

Under His Eye

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u/VagrantShadow May 27 '23

In their eye's family values means, do as we say, don't do as we do.

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u/FireVanGorder May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

“Family values” has long been a dogwhistle for homophobia and sexism. Before that it was also a dogwhistle for racism. Having been raised catholic and having actually studied theology, I truly don’t understand how these people can claim to be Christians. Nothing about Christ suggests he would support any of their bigotry and vitriol.

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u/SafewordisJohnCandy May 27 '23

It's a way to justify them being such shitty people. They pick and choose what they like from the Bible and that's what they stand on. They ignore so much of it and they don't practice any of it. Also, after growing up around a lot of Conservative people and still being around them, it's a way for them to show off to others that they are good people because they go to church and obviously can't be bad. Except an hour after church works out they roll 20 deep into a restaurant to treat wait staff like shit and then leave a measley tip it one of those dumbass prayer cards.

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u/Kitty_Woo May 27 '23

Man as a mom of a 17 yr old boy whom I would die for, this makes me very sad for what this teen is going through.

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u/Strong-Rise6221 May 27 '23

Me too. The past few years has been so hard and The world is not the same. Most kids are having some kind of difficulty even if they’re in a good environment.

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u/GhostalMedia May 26 '23

I love the last sentence of the article. Totally unrelated to the piece.

In March, Boebert, 36, announced that she is going to become a grandmother.

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u/tmoney144 May 26 '23

Sometimes I wonder if the GOPs entire purpose is just to make us look trashy to the rest of the world.

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u/jaytix1 May 26 '23

Well, if it is, I gotta say that it's working.

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u/FrightenedTomato May 27 '23

It's working spectacularly well.

Conservative rallies, among the biggest political rallies, always have the look and feel of TrashyCon. Interviews of conservative spokespersons and supporters are always among the dumbest interviews you'll find. The online space is filled with idiotic conservatives thinking that childishly "owning" progressives (with kindergarten logic) is the peak of political discourse.

And this isn't some small, loud minority.

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u/SafewordisJohnCandy May 27 '23

I've said this for years, the whole point of just about every Republican politician is to tell people that big government can't function, sit around and fuck things up or don't do anything at all and then when shit grinds to a hault they sit there and tell everyone to look at the non functioning government.

They also love to come in, splatter shit all over the bed and walls and then bitch and moan that the Democrats aren't cleaning it up fast enough.

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u/redvelvetcake42 May 27 '23

Something tells her she's going to go the way of Palin. She's just not a useful firebrand like Greene has been, she is actively weak in her district and she's constantly in the news for things that are extremely hard to defend politically. She is a woman in over her head that was financed to be loud, abusive and help push legislation but she's shown to be weak almost immediately after damn near losing, now she's getting divorced and this whole thing is a whirlwind. She's not long for the political world.

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u/SeanisNotaRobot May 27 '23

Yeah she barely won reelection in a red leaning seat in a red leaning year. She's not gonna gonna be in congress too long. Plus Colorado is blue overall so no real other options politically. She'll float around the right wing grift-osphere a bit I'm sure, but overall I look forward to more or less forgetting that she exists in 2 to 4 years.

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u/RippyMcBong May 27 '23

Newsmax will put her up as a talking head. She's too dumb and not blonde enough for fox news.

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u/Frozen_Esper May 27 '23

It would be hilarious if they put her on FOX, but made her bleach her hair.

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u/Dorkus_Mallorkus May 26 '23

Perfectly normal. My teenage son always calls 911 when I'm scolding him like a normal, non-abusive parent. I mean, they were just love taps. The bruises and marks? Oh, those were there before I beat him...I mean, before he fell down the stairs. I mean, after he fell down the stairs. Oops.

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u/CreamPuffDelight May 27 '23

"Hm? What? Did I push him down the stairs? You're insane and that's slander! I just brushed by him by accident because I was tipsy and a little drunk. He should've just ignored me because he's a man! Instead he decided to be a pansy and roll over from a tiny little push instead! "

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u/[deleted] May 27 '23

Try a sack of tomatoes next time. They won't leave marks and still hurt like hell. I MEAN SO I'VE BEEN TOLD. I MEAN SOMEONE NONE RELATED TOLD ME!!!

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u/Ghosted_Gurl May 27 '23

Behind the scenes, all the MAGA clowns are a mess. Their family life, marriages, you have to be a complete piece of shit to make the politics work for you. So no one is surprised.

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u/Comfortable_Dot_4923 May 27 '23

allows her own kids to be abused. Imagine what she would allow to happen to our kids.. sounds like both parents regret choosing life

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u/HumanRuse May 26 '23

It's just another conservative pedo on the sauce beating his kid again. Conservative family values. It's in the bible, folks. Move along.

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u/supermr34 May 26 '23

From the article I learned that she is going to be a grandmother.

She’s 36.

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u/whatsinthesocks May 27 '23

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u/supermr34 May 27 '23

I wish we, collectively, would stop electing idiots to positions of power.

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u/ExpiredExasperation May 26 '23

Her son got her future daughter-in-law pregnant at 14 or 15 or so.

But look over there! A drag performer holding a history book!

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u/bk1285 May 26 '23

Why would mgt’s boyfriend be holding a book?

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u/WAWednesdayAW May 26 '23

Is it an upside down bible?

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u/HumanRuse May 26 '23

Homelessness : Nah

School shootings : Meh

Women's rights : Pfft

The 0.5% of people in America who identify as Trans : THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!!

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u/themeatbridge May 26 '23

I was blown away to learn that there are more people who identify as trans than there are men and women taller than 6'4" and 6' respectively.

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u/mattyoclock May 26 '23

Yeah, standard deviations are weird. Once you are taller than 6’7 there’s like a 20% chance you’re a pro athlete too.

Don’t quote me on the percentage but that’s close.

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u/AdolescentThug May 27 '23

IIRC the statistic was that 17% of American men 7’ or taller end up on an NBA roster at some point in their lives (not sure if that includes being a 2-way or G-League player).

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u/mattyoclock May 27 '23

Whichever one I saw was all pros but it was years ago and I have no clue how far down the ladder they still considered pro

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u/Enygma_6 May 27 '23

Nancy Pelosi ought to make a big show of being overly friendly while inviting her to the congressional grandmothers club. Maybe even give her an award for being the fastest to achieve that honor.

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u/RichieRicch May 27 '23

She’s 36??? Are you fucking kidding me

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u/FireVanGorder May 27 '23

Nonstop feelings of anger and hatred really ages people

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u/oriaven May 27 '23

I will never understand how any parent can read about Abraham being told to sacrifice his son Isaac and think this book is something to put faith in. The most natural law we have is don't harm your kids. You want us to take orders to kill our kids from an invisible father that we need to love more than our family? Fuck right off. Those are so clearly the wrong values.

Oh God said syyyke you don't have to actually kill him, but I'm glad you were committed to doing it. You shall be rewarded. Just such horse shit right there.

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u/Euripidoze May 26 '23

When are the democrats going to roll out the “This is the America the Republicans want” ads?

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u/cinnamoncard May 27 '23

If only they had the salt

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u/UnderstandingGreen54 May 27 '23

If a kid calls 911 and says he is scared of violence from a parent, somebody needs to show up and talk to the kid away from all of the adults. No exceptions.

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u/ProDiesel May 26 '23

It's amazing we vote people like this into power. This is what apathy leads to.

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u/myrddyna May 27 '23

In this particular case, it was hate.

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u/BacktotheUniverse May 26 '23

Good Christian family values and what not.

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u/malYca May 27 '23

The trashiest family in America is bound to have lots of 911 calls. I feel bad for the kids, imagine growing up with those two as your parents.

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u/bobcat1911 May 27 '23

They are almost a mirror image of the palins!

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u/DCnTILLY May 26 '23

The Party of family values!

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u/InterlocutorX May 27 '23

Lauren Boebert's disastrous family and her disastrous life decisions are absolutely fair game, given her own attacks on other people's families. She gave up any moral high ground on the issue ages ago.

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u/roo-ster May 26 '23

No-one could have predicted that he'd expose a minor to something improper.

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u/mikesznn May 27 '23

These are the people who want to “protect the kids”

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u/bebejeebies May 27 '23

Religious Conservatives are the first ones to demand "privacy" for their family drama. Not only to "deal" with it as a family which translates to teaching the kids how to lie about it to protect the family image, but they lockdown for privacy so the abuse can continue. This is true grooming. You have no choice. There is no dealing with it. Don't talk about it to anyone outside the family. Pray on it and change your own behavior. Source: Just ended a long marriage with someone who came from a devout Christian republican family where abuse was violent and common but the kids never got help because they were raised to keep other people out of family business. All that mattered was how put together the family looked at church.

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u/BubinatorX May 27 '23

Sounds like a nice christian family.

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u/Steel12 May 27 '23

It’s like Sarah Palin reincarnate

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u/Mushroom_Tip May 27 '23

The man who exposes himself to children also abuses them?

And the woman who married him covers up and minimizes it for the police?

What a shock of the century.

And this woman is an elected politicians of the "family values" people. You guys sure know how to pick people who exemplify your values.

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u/myleftone May 27 '23

Is there accessory to child abuse?

Any one of us would be in a cell by now. A democrat would already be dragged in front of a committee and forced to resign.

This POS will finish her term and do tons more damage to children and women everywhere.

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u/JimAsia May 27 '23

Trailer trash gonna act like trash.

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u/OrangePlatypus81 May 26 '23

For some reason I’m reminded of sign on a house I made a delivery to today: “This house doesn’t call 911, instead it’s protected by the second amendment.”

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u/kickaguard May 27 '23

Guns treat heart attacks?

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u/Bignate2001 May 27 '23 edited May 27 '23

This one is screaming from the mountaintops about all of the child abuse coming from drag queens when she is covering up actual child abuse in her own goddamn home.

Of course they think that drag queens are abusing children, because it’s what they would do if they were in that situation.

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